How to Choose Music for Every Part of Your Wedding Ceremony (Without Stress)
So you’re here to find out how you should go about deciding your wedding music? The first thing I’ll suggest is to get in touch—by phone, contact form, or Zoom—so we can discuss your ceremony music. As a working wedding pianist, I’m available to help you craft your unique playlist. This post is aimed at making you feel totally secure in how it all works and how best to choose a perfect playlist for your wedding ceremony. When you first get engaged and begin thinking about the music of your wedding, it’s completely normal not to know where to start. How could you? You’re probably new to the process. And it’s overwhelming. It can feel like your particular song choices don’t fit, or that your piano player won’t be able to perform them or even that certain tricky family members or friends will scoff at your choices. So let’s get started. One final thing before we begin is to note that I’m not suggesting very many particular songs here; your actual song choices are completely yours. I want you to consider how you think about each ceremony moment rather than what exact songs or pieces you should pick. But if you need some specific ideas to get your started, check out this post here. Musicians also have access to sheet music stores such as Musicnotes.com allowing them to perform hundreds of thousands of potential ideas.
Your Ceremony has Distinct Musical Moments
1. Your Guests Arriving – The Prelude
2. Your Wedding Party Entrance
3. Walking Down The Aisle
4. Candle Lighting / Rituals
5. Signing of the Register
6. Recessional / Exit Music
Let’s take these in order and figure out how to navigate them.
1. Your Guests Arriving / The Prelude
The first thing on your mind might be the period where your guests are waiting around. You worry if they’ll be impatient, if they’ll be bored, if they’ll expect a little light entertainment. You wonder if the celebrant will settle them or perhaps even interact with them. You think about music which may be too loud or intrusive.
Now, I can only speak to you as a wedding pianist here but this will apply to any musicians you decide to hire. Speaking to piano, it’s uniquely placed to calm people as an instrument with both quiet and confident tones, a sense of elegance and a natural timelessness. It can play and reassure, relax and calm and this can happen for as long as needed in the minutes or even half hour leading up to your grand arrival at the aisle. Running late? No problem, the piano keeps things smoothed over. Someone else got delayed? No worries since the instrument is communicating to everyone that all is as it is meant to be.
This should be your first consideration; that piano performance or similar, will settle your guests, make them relaxed and ready for your arrival. It will basically set the tone for the entire rest of the day. Remember that, in this case, the piano will be the very first thing your guests will ever hear on your wedding day.
2. Your Wedding Party Entrance
Brides and Grooms are naturally concerned with the party entrance at weddings. Will the bridesmaids walk up too quickly? What about the flower girls and page boys? What if someone trips or gets delayed or gets confused about the correct order? What if one of the kiddies has a nervous moment and won’t budge? How will timings work for you as bride? There are two things I can completely assure you of. The first is that the pacing of any two weddings will never be the same and there will occasionally be the unforeseen as the wedding party gets set to go.
The other thing is that the piano is an extremely forgiving live instrument. It’s difficult to overstate how straightforward it is for a competent pianist to keep the music rolling, looping and repeating. As a wedding pianist, there is utterly no rush in the world as far as I’m concerned. It’s my job to keep things running smooth as butter and it’s nobody else’s concern in this instance. So my next piece of advice is to absolutely go ahead with that song choice just for your wedding part and to let it play out until the next part; your walk down the aisle.
3. Walking Down The Aisle
There are a few things to say here and I’ll try to keep this as simple as possible. The first thing relates to the section above on your wedding party entrance; there is no predicting how long it’s going to take you to walk down the aisle, how long before your celebrant is ready to begin, how long it will take your bridesmaids to quickly adjust your dress, and numerous other variables. But you can be sure you’re going to feel a bundle or nerves and excitement and perhaps even a lot of emotions if you’re walking down the aisle without your Dad or Mum or other loved one present. There’s a lot packed into this moment. And your wedding piano player has your back. His or her job is to wrap the moment up beautifully with your chosen music and to keep things flowing until everything is absolutely ready to begin.
When I perform the piano at the beginning of a wedding ceremony, I’m watching the proceedings like a hawk but keeping the actual music relaxed, easy and seamless. I will have rehearsed the entrance piece extremely carefully such that I can play it backwards if needed. One other thing to say is that not all ‘popular’ songs work well – avoid gimmicky songs that are of their time. Don’t try to be too different but at the same time, don’t be afraid to use Linkin Park or Dolly Parton or Sabrina Carpenter if they are your musical passions. So long as the song means something to either or both of you it will work with a professional pianist. You choose the song, communicate it to your pianist and then forget about this part. You focus on you. And once you’ve arrived, it’s not long before the next part of your ceremony.
4. Candle Lighting / Rituals
These are the little, understated moments in a ceremony. Most of the time, in my experience, they’re short, safe and simple. But for all their simplicity, they can be surprisingly tricky to navigate. They happen early on and they need just a dash of your favourite song, quietly arranged for a live instrument. The most common mishap here tends to be a delay in lighting candles when it’s windy outdoors or the candle just doesn’t light for whatever reason. The good news? You’ve guessed it; your piano player will capture the moment musically from the second you rise off your seats until you sit back down. With a few extra seconds to spare.
This is where the piano communicates calm, measured control of the moment to everyone present, like it’s all happening exactly as it should. As for your song choices, there are endless options, but a nice, simple, melodious tune will work. Slow rock, pop, Irish or even film songs/pieces can work wonders at this part of your ceremony. The purpose of the piano is to stabilise the situation, to make it feel deep and to create continuity between one part of your ceremony and the next. Which brings us to the signing of the register.
5. Signing of the Register
Your vows are done, the ‘I do’s’ sealed and now it’s time to make it legally binding. The signing of the register is actually a perfect time to recalibrate using music to guide. For your guests, it’s downtime and they may break into chatter while you’re sitting at the table up front, signing along with your witnesses and probably getting a few pictures taken. Your choice of music is quite important here. It’s a chance to slow things down, continue that oh-so-valuable sense of flow and to give a sense of timing. Generally, I will get through a full song on piano followed by some light twinkling if things are stretching slightly. Your guests get a sense of timing from a full song followed by a lull in the music. This helps to keep things smooth and predictable.
The trick for a pianist is to ensure that there are no awkward silences as you’re sitting and posing, pen in hand. A nice meaningful, downtempo song works wonders here. The piano player has two jobs; to tide this part of the ceremony over smoothly while also gearing up for an energetic lift at the end. And this neatly drops us off at your exit music.
6. Recessional / Exit Music
The biggest problem with a recorded track at a wedding ceremony is the abruptness. A full production song can work but it can just as easily be jarring, considering that you were peacefully just signing papers moments ago. A live instrument on the other hand offers both lift and restraint in equal measure. The timing can be a little fiddly in that the celebrant may say a couple more words or the photographer decides to take a large group shot of everyone before you walk down the aisle. You need your musician to be on ready alert in order to know the perfect moment for your final song to happen.
On the note of song choices, I would usually encourage couples to select something that has high energy, meaning and pretty much instant recognisability as their exit song. And even then, it’s not a hard and fast rule. A good performer will deliver on this part of your day with precision and will help define the energy for the rest of the afternoon before your drinks reception is due to take place. Before you know it, you’re done!
Concluding Thoughts
Remember, there’s no single perfect wedding playlist—what matters is choosing what fits your ceremony and personality. And with regard to piano, there is almost no such thing as boring or stupid choices. The piano can transform any song so long as you understand the energy needed for the different parts of your ceremony. And again, it’s important to have faith in your pianist or other musician to deliver on their promise. Your job, once the music is selected, is to relax and focus in on experiencing your ceremony. Let the professionals take care of you and try to soak it all up. I’m available to hire as a wedding pianist and if you’d like help with curating music that fits your personality and ceremony rather than just depending on a playlist, I’d be more than delighted to advise. Just fill out the contact form and I’ll get back in touch.
